The Science of Friendship

Friendships are strange. For most people, they are so easy to start. But for some reason, they are hard to maintain. As of current days, I am watching a few of my friendships deteriorate into nothingness. Which is odd because I don't want that to happen. But I find myself doing absolutely nothing about it. As with most problems in my life, I try to devise a solution through a homebrewed system that utilizes logic. I identify all of the known values, label unknowns as variables, and set the "equation" equal to my preferred outcome. Then I solve the equation for my variables. You might disagree with my method, but it is a solid and unbiased way of solving problems.Trying to build an equation for a continuing friendship was a Herculean task. In fact I am still questioning the integrity of my formula. But I have to proceed as planned. If I do not, the only feasible way to solve this problem is to "wing" it...which I am terrible at.I start at the beginning of the friendship. I ask myself, "What made me initiate a conversation with this person?" In this friendship, they were a friend of a friend and needed computer help. So I aided them in their digital plight. Then I ask, "What made me pursue subsequent conversations?" This person studied in the same school as I so we saw each other frequently. To avoid awkward situations, I initiated conversations every time I saw them. This seemed to work at first. Then I ran out of ice-breakers. But by that point there was more of a give and take on our confabulations. But after we left college, communication slowed to an almost monthly occurrence.This is next question, "Was this just a friendship of convenience?" You know, like your "friend" in college that just happened to have a truck. This is the variable in my equation. I cannot answer this question because there is evidence to both confirm and deny the question. Then more questions start to surface. "But why is there such little communication? Also, why am I the one who always initiates the communication?" There is only one answer that I can come up with.This person never wanted my friendship...I don't know about you, but I am quite affected by that sentence. Maybe I'm too sensitive; maybe I'm too needy; maybe I'm just a big ol' wuss. No matter what the reason, I still cannot shake the sadness I feel when I contemplate on that notion. If I embrace this theory then I am being counterproductive in my solving of this quandary. Therefore, I have to ignore that possibility so I can continue constructing my solution.After analyzing the data, I know what I have to do. I must continue to make contact, even though I am tired of being the initiator. I must renew my interest in their life and provide insight when applicable. If I want this friendship to endure, I cannot just keep my mouth closed.Unless I don't want this friendship to last......